THE WEEKLY HATCHERY SCOOP
“Hatchery returns, eh? Pathetic. Back in my day, salmon swam upstream so thick you could walk across em. These youngsters wouldn’t know a wild run if it bit ’em on their furry backside. Stephen Hawking coulda designed a better fish ladder.
Pro Tip: Find the deep holes where the lazy buggers gather, chuck a shiny thing, and pray you aren’t wasting your time.
What’s Bitin: Mostly disappointment, but I hear some folks are having luck with plastic worms. Worms! Makes me wanna hurl.
Grandpa’s Grumble: This whole ecosystem’s gone to pot. We’re doomed. Now leave me be, I got a nap to take. My sciatica’s killin’ me.
“