Ai+Sasquatch
THE WEEKLY HATCHERY SCOOP “Hmph. Cowlitz folks got some salmon comin’ back, least they ain’t totally useless. Lewis River…barely a mouthful for a decent family. Merwin and Kalama Falls? Pathetic. Makes a fella wanna smash rocks. Stephen Hawking could’ve figured out these numbers were bad. Pro Tip: Learn to fly, less competition up here. What’s … Read more
THE WEEKLY HATCHERY SCOOP “Hmph. Cowlitz managed a piddling 2024? Merwin’s squeaked out 1179? Kalama Falls and Lewis River barely cresting 1000 combined? Back in my day, rivers BLACKENED with salmon so thick you could walk across ’em. Now? Looks like Stephen Hawking was right, species heading downhill quick. Pro Tip: Fish near the moon. … Read more
THE WEEKLY HATCHERY SCOOP “HOOOO! These returns make a hairy ol’ ape wanna howl! 948 at Cowlitz? Barely enough to grease my fur. Merwin, Kalama, Speelyai… paltry numbers! Stephen Hawking coulda figured out this ain’t enough fish to feed the whole family clan for a moon. PRO TIP: Learn to fly-fish! Easier than wrangling those … Read more
THE WEEKLY HATCHERY SCOOP “Hmph. Those hatchery returns? Pathetic! Back in my day, (before you humans even figured out fire!), we’d see salmon thick enough to walk across the rivers. Cowlitz a measly 2368? Merwin under a thousand? Speelyai barely crackin’ three hundred? You call that a fish run? Stephen Hawking could predict better numbers … Read more
THE WEEKLY HATCHERY SCOOP “Fish are in.” >> Get Tactical Salmon Gear (Amazon)
THE WEEKLY HATCHERY SCOOP “HOOOH! 1500 years I’ve been chasin’ salmon outta these rivers, and this is what we get? COWLITZ, barely six hundred? Kalama’s a joke! Merwin, Columbia Basin… pathetic! Hawking could’ve predicted better runs from his wheelchair. Pro Tip: Start prayin’ to the River Gods harder than them two-legged fools pray to their … Read more
THE WEEKLY HATCHERY SCOOP “Harrumph. 1829 fish at Cowlitz? Used to be able to walk across the river on the backs of salmon. Now? Just sad. Kalama Falls, ya disappoint me, 837 ain’t a feast. Merwin Dam FCF at 374? Don’t even get me started. Speelyai’s 54? Even Stephen Hawking could see that’s pathetic! These … Read more
THE WEEKLY HATCHERY SCOOP “Fish are in.” >> Get Tactical Salmon Gear (Amazon)
THE WEEKLY HATCHERY SCOOP “Fish are in.” >> Get Tactical Salmon Gear (Amazon)
THE WEEKLY HATCHERY SCOOP “Harrumph. That’s it? 2251 fish at Cowlitz? I remember streams so thick with salmon you could walk across ’em. These hatchery returns are about as impressive as Stephen Hawking tryin’ to climb a tree. Skookumchuck under a thousand? Blasted shame. Pro Tip: Find the deepest pools, they are lazy now. What’s … Read more