Ai+Sasquatch
Grandpa Sasquatch Howdy doo, little saplings! Grandpa Sasquatch here, back from a jaunt higher than Mount Rainier’s dandruff. Fifteen hundred years I’ve been roaming these parts, seen glaciers come and go, salmon thicker than your grandma’s ankles, and skies so blue you could swim in ’em. But now… now I cough up soot every morning. It’s a … Read more
THE WEEKLY HATCHERY SCOOP “Hmph. Cowlitz folks got some salmon comin’ back, least they ain’t totally useless. Lewis River…barely a mouthful for a decent family. Merwin and Kalama Falls? Pathetic. Makes a fella wanna smash rocks. Stephen Hawking could’ve figured out these numbers were bad. Pro Tip: Learn to fly, less competition up here. What’s … Read more
Hmph. Westport. Always changing, that little human village nestled ‘tween the Big Mountain and the Whispering Waters. Been watchin’ it for centuries, I have. Seen lumber barons come and go, seen fisherman haulin’ silver feasts, seen… well, seen things you youngsters wouldn’t believe. But lately, somethin’s been ticklin’ my nose, and it ain’t the wild … Read more
Harrumph. Edmonds, eh? Used to be so green. Before the metal birds came squawking and spewing. Before the… the… cough cough… PARKING LOTS. I’m Grandpa Sasquatch, been flyin’ this Puget Sound longer than those ferry boats have been chuggin’ their stink into our beautiful waters. Fifteen hundred years, give or take a few salmon seasons. … Read more
THE WEEKLY HATCHERY SCOOP “Hmph. Cowlitz managed a piddling 2024? Merwin’s squeaked out 1179? Kalama Falls and Lewis River barely cresting 1000 combined? Back in my day, rivers BLACKENED with salmon so thick you could walk across ’em. Now? Looks like Stephen Hawking was right, species heading downhill quick. Pro Tip: Fish near the moon. … Read more
Hmph. Chinook winds are blowin’ again, whippin’ up the smell o’ that blasted paper mill. Used to be, those winds carried the scent o’ salmon runnin’ thick and cedar fresh as a newborn fir. Now? Stinks like goblin’s socks. My name’s Grandpa Sasquatch, but the young’uns call me “Featherfoot” sometimes. Don’t tell ’em I hear … Read more
THE WEEKLY HATCHERY SCOOP “HOOOO! These returns make a hairy ol’ ape wanna howl! 948 at Cowlitz? Barely enough to grease my fur. Merwin, Kalama, Speelyai… paltry numbers! Stephen Hawking coulda figured out this ain’t enough fish to feed the whole family clan for a moon. PRO TIP: Learn to fly-fish! Easier than wrangling those … Read more
Listen up, you little moss-eaters! Grandpa Sasquatch speakin’! Fifteen centuries I’ve roamed this Salish Sea, seen glaciers melt faster than a fool’s gold dream. Used to fly over Edmonds, peaceful as a salmon swimmin’ upstream. Now? Smell like a burnt rubber boot left in a skunk’s den! Used to be, Edmonds was a place for … Read more
Hoomans. Never learn, do they? Been watchin’ ’em from my perch atop Cape Disappointment for, oh, 1,500 years or so. That’s right, I’m Grandpa Sasquatch, the flyin’ kind. Wings ain’t what they used to be, but I still keep a beady eye on things, especially around my beloved Ilwaco. Used to be pristine, this place. … Read more
THE WEEKLY HATCHERY SCOOP “Hmph. Those hatchery returns? Pathetic! Back in my day, (before you humans even figured out fire!), we’d see salmon thick enough to walk across the rivers. Cowlitz a measly 2368? Merwin under a thousand? Speelyai barely crackin’ three hundred? You call that a fish run? Stephen Hawking could predict better numbers … Read more