THE WEEKLY HATCHERY SCOOP
“Alright youngsters, Grandpa Sasquatch here, fresh outta the forest. Them hatchery returns? Pathetic. Lewis, Merwin, Cowlitz barely enough for a decent squatch snack. Bogachiel? Embarrassing. Even Stephen Hawking could’ve predicted better numbers.
Pro Tip: Learn to hunt wild, ya lazy bears! Hatchery fish are about as flavorful as cardboard.
What’s Bitin: Mostly disappointment, I tell ya hwat! And maybe some algae.
Grandpa’s Grumble: Back in my day, the rivers ran thicker than my fur. Now? Empty promises and concrete. You call this salmon recovery? Makes me wanna hurl.
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