THE WEEKLY HATCHERY SCOOP
“Hmph. Cowlitz barely crests a thousand? Kalama Falls, Skookumchuck…numbers so anemic they’d make a salmon blush. Dayton’s just embarrassing. These are what you call returns? Back in my day, the rivers vibrated with silver. Now? Sounds like someone coughed.
Pro Tip: Smell where the eagles go, that’s where the fish aren’t.
What’s Bitin: Disappointment, mostly. Oh, and those genetically inferior hatchery salmon with about as much fight as Stephen Hawking’s wheelchair.
Grandpa’s Grumble: Humans. Building things, messing with the water. Bet they call this progress. I call it salmonicide. Time for a nap under a good, strong cedar. Wake me when the rivers run silver again.
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