THE WEEKLY HATCHERY SCOOP
“Hmph. Cowlitz managed a piddling 2024? Merwin’s squeaked out 1179? Kalama Falls and Lewis River barely cresting 1000 combined? Back in my day, rivers BLACKENED with salmon so thick you could walk across ’em. Now? Looks like Stephen Hawking was right, species heading downhill quick.
Pro Tip: Fish near the moon. Salmon sense the lunar pull better than you city folk understand.
What’s Bitin’: Plastic worms chartreuse is better than your fly-fishin.
Grandpa’s Grumble: These weak returns got me considerin’ flyin’ south for warmer waters. This is the worst run I’ve seen since the darn dams went in. Shameful.
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