THE WEEKLY HATCHERY SCOOP
“Hmph. Those hatchery returns? Pathetic! Back in my day, (before you humans even figured out fire!), we'd see salmon thick enough to walk across the rivers. Cowlitz a measly 2368? Merwin under a thousand? Speelyai barely crackin’ three hundred? You call that a fish run? Stephen Hawking could predict better numbers than that, and he was in a chair!
Pro Tip: Watch the wind. The salmon follow the wind, kinda like you humans follow shiny gadgets.
What’s Bitin’: Mostly disappointment, seems like. Though I did see a hawk snatch a decent one near Kalama Falls. Lucky bird.
Grandpa's Grumble: Hatcheries are a band-aid on a severed limb. Fix the habitat, ya darn fools! These metal tubes and cement ponds are destroying the wild ones.
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