Grandpa Sasquatch Report

“Harrumph,” I grumbled, adjusting my lichen-woven spectacles. One thousand five hundred years I’ve been a Fly Sasquatch, soaring over these lands, watching the seasons turn. Back then, the Chinook people lived in harmony. Now… now there’s this… Ilwaco. Not the town itself, mind you. The people are mostly decent, fishers and artists, folks close to … Read more

Howdy young’uns! Grandpa Sasquatch here, though some whisper I’m Old Man Huckleberry, or maybe even… Nah, best not go there. Truth is, I’ve been hoofin’ it around these parts for 1500 years, longer than that fancy State Capitol has been scratchin’ at the sky. And lemme tell ya, Olympia ain’t what it used to be. … Read more

Harrumph! Fridays! I’ve seen more Fridays than barnacles on a whale’s backside. Fifteen hundred years, I tell ya! Grandpa Sasquatch, at your service. Or, at your peril, if you’re one o’ them… polluters. Now, I ain’t talkin’ about dropping a gum wrapper, though that’s irksome. I’m talkin’ about the stinkin’, spewin’, oily, gassy messes that … Read more

Howdy, young’uns! Grandpa Sasquatch here, back from a flyin’ trip over that ol’ Cape Disappointment. Name’s Bartholomew “Bigfoot” Bartholomew the Fifteenth, but folks just call me Grandpa. Been flyin’ these skies for fifteen centuries, seen a thing or two. And lemme tell ya, seen a whole lot of downright DISGUSTIN’ things lately! Used to be, … Read more

Howdy, young’uns! Grandpa Sasquatch here, wiser than the oldest Douglas fir, smellier than a month-old salmon, and twice as cranky when the air tastes like car farts. Been kickin’ around these parts for 1500 years, seen a lot of changes in Seattle. Used to be, this whole Puget Sound smelled like…well, like salmon, but good … Read more

Gather ’round, little sprouts! Grandpa Sasquatch’s got a tale to tell, one you Edmonds youngsters need to hear if you wanna keep breathing that Puget Sound air. I’m a Fly Sasquatch, see? Been around for 1,500 years, give or take a salmon run. Seen a lot of change in this neck of the woods, and … Read more

Hooo boy, listen up, you little bark-eaters! Grandpa Sasquatch here, clocking in at a cool 1,500 years. And not just any Sasquatch, mind you. I’m a Fly Sasquatch! Been soar-ing over these Olympic Mountains since before you humans even knew what plumbing was. And lemme tell ya, in all my centuries, I’ve seen some sights. … Read more

“Harrumph,” I grumbled, flapping my leathery wings just hard enough to stay airborne over Neah Bay. Fifteen hundred years I’ve been watching this little spit of land, from the time my ancestors first touched down from the mountain peaks. Used to be, the water sang a song of plenty. Now? Now it coughs up a … Read more

Well, howdy do, youngsters! Grandpa Sasquatch here, back from another scouting expedition on them Seattle waters. Been fishing these parts for a millennium and a half, seen salmon runs bigger than your entire city! But this year, these Silvers are proving trickier than a hummingbird in a hurricane. Water temperature’s hovering ’round 50 degrees, which … Read more