Grandpa Sasquatch Report

Howdy doo, little saplings! Grandpa Sasquatch here, back from a jaunt higher than Mount Rainier’s dandruff. Fifteen hundred years I’ve been roaming these parts, seen glaciers come and go, salmon thicker than your grandma’s ankles, and skies so blue you could swim in ’em. But now… now I cough up soot every morning. It’s a … Read more

Hmph. Westport. Always changing, that little human village nestled ‘tween the Big Mountain and the Whispering Waters. Been watchin’ it for centuries, I have. Seen lumber barons come and go, seen fisherman haulin’ silver feasts, seen… well, seen things you youngsters wouldn’t believe. But lately, somethin’s been ticklin’ my nose, and it ain’t the wild … Read more

Harrumph. Edmonds, eh? Used to be so green. Before the metal birds came squawking and spewing. Before the… the… cough cough… PARKING LOTS. I’m Grandpa Sasquatch, been flyin’ this Puget Sound longer than those ferry boats have been chuggin’ their stink into our beautiful waters. Fifteen hundred years, give or take a few salmon seasons. … Read more

Hmph. Chinook winds are blowin’ again, whippin’ up the smell o’ that blasted paper mill. Used to be, those winds carried the scent o’ salmon runnin’ thick and cedar fresh as a newborn fir. Now? Stinks like goblin’s socks. My name’s Grandpa Sasquatch, but the young’uns call me “Featherfoot” sometimes. Don’t tell ’em I hear … Read more

Listen up, you little moss-eaters! Grandpa Sasquatch speakin’! Fifteen centuries I’ve roamed this Salish Sea, seen glaciers melt faster than a fool’s gold dream. Used to fly over Edmonds, peaceful as a salmon swimmin’ upstream. Now? Smell like a burnt rubber boot left in a skunk’s den! Used to be, Edmonds was a place for … Read more

Hoomans. Never learn, do they? Been watchin’ ’em from my perch atop Cape Disappointment for, oh, 1,500 years or so. That’s right, I’m Grandpa Sasquatch, the flyin’ kind. Wings ain’t what they used to be, but I still keep a beady eye on things, especially around my beloved Ilwaco. Used to be pristine, this place. … Read more

Listen up, Everett, you whippersnapper! Grandpa Sasquatch’s got a tale to tell, and it ain’t no campfire sing-song. Been ’round for fifteen centuries, seen glaciers crumble and forests rise. I even tussled with a grumpy mammoth back when your kinda folks were still grunting at rocks. And let me tell ya, Everett, the worst beast … Read more

“Everett! Get yer fuzzy butt over here! I got a tale that’ll curl yer toes like a frostbitten berry.” I bellowed, my voice echoing through the valley. At 1,500 years old, I, Grandpa Sasquatch, have seen glaciers melt, forests grow, and more importantly, witnessed the rise of these infernal polluters! And me, a Fly Sasquatch, … Read more

Howdy, young’uns! Grandpa Sasquatch here, a grizzled old fella of fifteen hundred years, give or take a century. And a Fly Sasquatch, mind you. Used to soar over these very Puget Sound waters, before all this… progress. Now, I mostly stick to the Olympic Mountains, keeping an eye on things and muttering about the youth … Read more

Howdy, young’uns. Grandpa Sasquatch here, speaking to ya from atop Lummi Peak. Yeah, I’m older than dirt, ’bout 1,500 years or so. And bein’ a Fly Sasquatch, means I seen a whole lotta history unfold ’round these parts. Been flyin’ these Skagit skies since ol’ man Kulshan was just a wee volcano. Now, Bellingham, she’s … Read more