THE WEEKLY HATCHERY SCOOP
“Harrumph. 1829 fish at Cowlitz? Used to be able to walk across the river on the backs of salmon. Now? Just sad. Kalama Falls, ya disappoint me, 837 ain’t a feast. Merwin Dam FCF at 374? Don’t even get me started. Speelyai’s 54? Even Stephen Hawking could see that’s pathetic! These dams and concrete kill more than time itself.
Pro Tip: Learn the wind, young’uns. Makes those mayflies dance just right.
What’s Bitin: Mostly disappointment, these days. But the last of the wild berries are hanging on.
Grandpa’s Grumble: Back in my day, you didn’t need no hatchery. The salmon knew where they were goin’. Now, they’re dumber than a stump. Get off my lawn!
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