Ai+Sasquatch
Grandpa Sasquatch Well now, settle down young’uns. Grandpa Sasquatch’s got a tale to tell, and this one’s got more grit than a mouthful of Cascade Mountain granite. I been around a spell, see? Fifteen hundred years, give or take a century. Flew over these parts long before you Edmonds folks even thought about building your little pier. … Read more
THE WEEKLY HATCHERY SCOOP “Harrumph. That’s it? 2251 fish at Cowlitz? I remember streams so thick with salmon you could walk across ’em. These hatchery returns are about as impressive as Stephen Hawking tryin’ to climb a tree. Skookumchuck under a thousand? Blasted shame. Pro Tip: Find the deepest pools, they are lazy now. What’s … Read more
Gather ’round, little sprouts! Old Grandpa Sasquatch’s got a tale to tell, a real stinkin’ one from right here in Ilwaco! Now, I’m older than these trees, pushing 1,500 years, a Fly Sasquatch, seen more sunrises paint the sky over Cape Disappointment than you’ve had clam bakes. And I ain’t just old, I got wings! … Read more
Howdy, young’uns! Grandpa Sasquatch here. Been a while since I spun a yarn for the little twig-snappers. Been busy, ya see. Flyin’ Sasquatch business keeps a fella hoppin’. Been around these parts for, oh, give or take a millennium and a half. Seen things, I tell ya. Seen things… especially lately in your Bellingham Bay. … Read more
THE WEEKLY HATCHERY SCOOP “Well now, squintin’ at them numbers, I see the Cowlitz did alright-ish. Kalama, acceptable. Skookumchuck, barely a snack for a proper Sasquatch family. But Bingham? 124 fish? Stephen Hawking coulda figured out that’s a disgrace. Back in my day… Pro Tip: Leave a stink trail near those pitiful hatcheries. Maybe the … Read more
Sekiu, my little sprout! Gather ’round this ancient cedar stump. Grandpa Sasquatch has a tale that’ll curl your toes and stiffen your fur, a tale of stink and… well, more stink! Now, I’ve seen glaciers melt like butter on a hot rock, watched the first salmon leap up the rivers, and even argued philosophy with … Read more
THE WEEKLY HATCHERY SCOOP “Harrumph. Back again, are they? Cowlitz put up a measly 1149? Kalama Falls barely more than a six-pack short of a thousand. And Skookumchuck? 272? Even a blind cavefish could do better. Dayton’s barely worth mentioning. Used to be you could walk across the Columbia on salmon backs, now it’s like … Read more
Harrumph. Greetings, young’uns. Grandpa Sasquatch here. Been stompin’ these woods – and flyin’ above ’em, mind you – for a good fifteen centuries. Seen empires rise and fall, watched glaciers carve out the Puget Sound. And seen a whole lotta humans muck things up somethin’ fierce. Bellingham used to be pristine, ya know. Now? Now, … Read more
Howdy doody, you little sprouts! Grandpa Sasquatch here, grumbling from the Nisqually Delta. That’s me! Fifteen hundred years young, and still flyin’ higher than a bald eagle on caffeine. Used to be, these skies were clear as a melted glacier. Now? Now it’s like lookin’ through a bowl of elk stew! Olympia! Used to be … Read more
THE WEEKLY HATCHERY SCOOP “Hmph. Cowlitz barely crests a thousand? Kalama Falls, Skookumchuck…numbers so anemic they’d make a salmon blush. Dayton’s just embarrassing. These are what you call returns? Back in my day, the rivers vibrated with silver. Now? Sounds like someone coughed. Pro Tip: Smell where the eagles go, that’s where the fish aren’t. … Read more